Regret of Arrogance

I aimed arrowed goals so high this year and failed hit one bullseye 

Devastated I laid in my shame

 ripping every card of polite nos, and sympathetic "next times" or "maybes" from others cheeks 

I realized that it was all my fault, all but me caught in my arrogance

And while said as so by 

Most that know, shaking in agreement 

My worst enemies is no longer the world but myself 

Soaring in my pity 

I find myself  giving the treatment I once feared from others 

What does this mean? Is just a found reason for me to hate myself a bit further? Or to find an optimistic path, as so this can suck a little less more? 

I'm no longer sure 

I find days where I like myself as act like hippy, dressed in baggy clothes, peaceful and sure, 

But most days I hate toward mine own for dumbing myself down but than talking myself up  

I no longer sure whether I'm confident or insecure 

It's been a year of disappointment, confusion, and  sorrow yet a year of growth and maturing